Wah wah wah.

Why did I even go to college? What am I doing with my life?

My Top Five [LIST] (Edit!)

So Chris and I play a little game called "Top Five" aka Freebies (or whatever, we certainly didn't invent this); essentially it is the list of celebrities that, if given the chance, you can have a fling with without any infidelity rules applied. Awesome! So here's mine:

Jesse Lacey (08/06/11)

Jason Segel (08/06/11)

Jared Leto Jeremy Renner (01/08/14)

Matthew Lewis (who fought with Jackson Rathbone for this spot) Josh Duhamel (01/18/14)

Matthew Gray Gubler (but he'd have to act like Dr. Spencer Reid LOL)  (08/06/11)

Maybe I should find more J names!
I reserve the right to update this at any time. :-D

Places to Visit :: Travel Dreams [LIST]

San Alfonso del Mar resort - Chile
(Largest Swimming Pool in the World!)

Harry Potter Studio Tours - London, UK

Post Wedding Post

To wrap up all this wedding craziness, I wanted to post that everything really did turn out swimmingly. Turns out there were two complete weddings, and all in the middle of packing up our home, and adjusting to military life. So my whole blogging and many other things took a backseat to other priorities. Hope to take the blog in a new direction and more regular posts. :)

Wedding Checklist, Part: Tres [LIST]

W - minus 4-5 Months

• Start thinking about cultural traditions for your wedding. - I've thought about this and honestly I don't even know what this means. LOL
• View wedding invitation styles and proper wording, place the order and book a calligrapher. - I still think it is more cost efficient to D.I.Y.
• Look at photos to get ideas for wedding cake designs, and meet with bakers to taste samples. - I think this is being handled by my Momager.
• Discuss menu ideas with your catering manager. - The reception venue has a menu.
• Purchase wedding rings and send for engraving if applicable. - Oh, again.
• Look for the groom’s tux and decide what groomsmen will wear. - I'll leave this up to Chris and the men.
• Confirm your bridesmaids ordered their gowns and decide on accessories. - I have yet to decide on this.
• Have your mother and future mother-in-law coordinate and select their dresses. - I will have them do that. ;-)
• Get ideas for wedding favors. - Yay! I've done this.
• Confirm dates for bridal showers and bachelorette parties. - Guess we're not doing these. LOL
• Make sure you’ve started your registries before bridal shower invitations are sent. - Opting out of registries.
• Reserve rental equipment such as chairs, tables, linens, tents, etc. - All through reption venue?
• Research and book your rehearsal dinner location. - Reception venue?
• Get ideas for wedding hair and makeup. - This I gotta do.
• Notify any family or friends whom you would like to give readings, sing solos, serve as guest book attendant, etc. - Guest book attendant? LOL
• Interview and hire any additional management staff and babysitters if needed. - LOL
• Update wedding website. - Oh man. I'm so behind.
• Consider getting wedding insurance. - ??
• Purchase wedding shoes and start dress fittings. Bring the shoes along to your first fitting so the tailor can choose the appropriate length for your gown. - Shoes. Damn it.
• Schedule hair and makeup artists. Make a few appointments with local experts to try them out. Snap a photo at each so you can compare results. - Vegas is so not local.
• Choose your music. What should be playing when the wedding party is announced? During dinner? To kick off the dancing? Keep a running list of what you want—and do not want—played. - This I've actually started! But this "do not want" - now there's a good tip!

DIET is just DIE with a T

From the Happiness Project post, Abstainer vs. Moderator

I believe I am an "Abstainer." An Abstainer is someone who must quit cold turkey. I'd rather have zero temptations in the house, than have to tread the delicate lines of serving sizes and moderation. Moderators are able to have sweets and snacks in the house because they are capable of self-control. I'd rather not have anything in the house because even though I may have a craving for a sweet or snack, I am too lazy to go out and get one.

Avoid all candy and artificial sweeteners for two weeks, and your taste buds will adapt.

I also read an article on something referred to as hyperpalatable foods. Crap like Doritos that are loaded with salt, sugar, and fats that cause your tastebuds to have to adapt to stronger flavor sensations which cause regular, nutritious food to register as bland to the palate. Other things to avoid include unnatural flavorings, preservatives, and artificial sweeteners. Your taste buds will once again appreciate the flavor of fresh, nutritious vegetables and the natural sweetness of fruit.

Attempt 30 days without eating processed foods!

This one sounds the most difficult for my situation. I have an aversion to visiting grocery stores on a daily or regular basis, so fresh fruits and veggies are rare to come by in my refrigerator. I have frozen and canned items. Does this count as processed? Or are we just talking chemical preservatives, altered foods, etc.? Either way, 30 days is a stretch at this point. I am willing to research this fuller and attempt this eventually.

Wedding Checklist Part Deux

W-Minus 6-9 Months.

• Send "Save the Date" cards to alert guests of the wedding date. - Not doing any. Brides who refer to them as "STDs" make me queasy.
• Begin dress fittings for gowns and veils. Bring stockings, heels, a strapless bra, and a hair clip to each appointment. - I've done this! But I wore sweatpants, so LOL.
• Shop for bridesmaids' dresses. Allow 6 months for ordering and sizing.
• Get in shape for your wedding gown by starting an exercise routine. - Oh god.
• Get ideas for honeymoon locations and research pricing. - See, now that sounds like something I want to do. Research a vacation!
• Start looking at floral designs and interview florists for style and cost. - *Shrugs.*
• Search for menu ideas and start meeting with caterers. - Hotel reception stuff.
• Research wedding photography and interview wedding photographers/videographers. - I'm hoping this works out. Videographer?
• Get ideas for music and interview bands/DJs. - iPod playlist?
• Choose your officiant and discuss ceremony ideas. - Dad thing.
• Start thinking about all your gift registry options. - Not registering.
• Select three hotels in varying price ranges and reserve rooms for out-of-town guests. - Ceremony/Reception is at a hotel.
• Launch a wedding website. Note the date of the wedding, travel information, and accommodations. Then send the link to invitees. - ?? Maybe.
• Start composing a day-of timeline. Draw up a schedule of the event and slot in each component (the cake-cutting, the first dance).

Okay, overwhelmed again. LOL

More On Organizing [LIST]

Kitchen: "Even Emeril doesn't need 6 spatulas and 4 whisks!" 2 each, max!
          Appliances (microwave?) off the counter! Keep counters clear!

Desk: Create Zones (Bills, Stationary, Mail, Reading, etc.)
          Purge!

Books: Donate ALL that do not fit into 3 criteria:
          -Books you love.
          -Books you read regularly.
          -Books whose content cannot be found on the Internet.

Knick Knacks: "You should own nothing that is not useful, beautiful, or loved."

Photos: Keep the gems, toss the rest.
          Ex. blurry, unflattering, redundant, bad shots. Organize into broad categories rather than labeling each.

Makeup: Sort & Purge! (Older than 6 months, etc.)

Closet: Let things go. Turn hangers backwards and purge unused items in 6 months.
          "When something new comes in, let something go."
          *Shoe storage ideas: Ikea Hemnes? Trones?

Clutter: Be sure ALL ITEMS HAVE A "HOME."
         

Wedding Checklist [LIST]

Okay, here is the "Wedding Checklist" I pulled off the internet. We're at 9-12 Months Before Wedding. (Well, to be honest, we've past that time frame, but we should start from the beginning, right?)

• Announce your engagement. - No.
• Plan an engagement party, and
• Place an engagement announcement in the newspaper. - Um, no and no.
• Set a budget. - Sounds like a Dad thing to me.
• Hire a wedding planner or purchase wedding planning software. - LOL. No.
• Select a date and reserve the venue. - Extenuating circumstances deem this impossible; no.
• Start a guest list. - Ok, I've got like 17 people on the guest list. Handled! LOL
• Find an officiant. - Dad thing!
• Start a separate folder for receipts. - Um, what?
• Select your wedding party. - Maybe.
• Start shopping for your wedding gown. - Haha, no thanks!
• Attend a bridal show and note vendors. - Nah.
• Purchase a calendar to keep track of important dates and appointments. - Isn't this called an iPhone?

I'm doing pretty damn good I think...

Stressors [LIST]

• Work.
• Continuing work after Chris goes to basic.
• New opportunities. Interview?
• Wedding.
• Everything! Ack!
• Moving.
• Packing? Organizing? Purging? Oh my.
• House.
• Smh. Idk.

Also, this:
"Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called being two-faced, it's called growing up."

The Happiness Project Continues...

So I've had a little bit more time with my Happiness Project. Some gems I've found are:

• Stop telling yourself to get "organized." Start actually getting rid of stuff. You don't need any new nifty organizing containers if you PURGE!
• Don't keep excessive amounts of anything. The example the author gave was: A house with 2 adults doesn't need 15 mismatched coffee cups. So I started getting rid of coffee cups I didn't want/need.
• Get rid of anything for which you have duplicates. I had two mixing bowls for cakes. I kept the one that matched my kitchen and gave the one I bought when I was first starting out in my house to my M.I.L.
• Don't mark ANYTHING as "Misc." I have been super SUPER guilty of this one. I started making specific places for things that I wanted to keep for projects and stuff, instead of placing them all in one catch-all box. Separate boxes for stamps, greeting cards, and keepsakes have gotten me a little further in actually having a place for everything before everything can be in its place. 

Things I want to do or need to get better at doing:

• Make the bed every day. Makes a big difference.
• Get rid of old clothes. When I lose weight, will I really wear my old clothes or will I want to enjoy buying new clothes?
• Eating better - "Moderator" or "Abstainer" ?
• Go to bed on time. Make an "evening ritual" i.e. Make tea, read in bed, etc.

And the major road block in my own Happiness: the Workplace. I have resigned that I simply do not like my job and would rather not go. However, at this point in my life, quitting and starting anew is not a viable (or logical) option. Is there anything I can do to make my workplace more fun?

• Gather everyone's birthday and do something monthly (cupcakes, treats) for workplace morale.

Ok, that's all I've got for now!

My Happiness Project

So I heard there are two types of people on Facebook: Those who brag about how awesome they are, and those who want to share how miserable they are. Too much of either annoys me. In fact, I probably have more people on my "Hide" list than on my actual news feed. I like people who are funny, and a balance of awesome and misery. And who post pictures of cats. But I digress. I started to notice my own posts involving more and more of the latter. Mostly b!tching about work. And in real life, being irritable. Tense. Anxious.

I remembered this saying from the internet that stuck with me:
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

Am I happy? Not really. I'm tired and cranky and I hate my life five out of seven days of the week. Do I want to be happy though? Sure!

One day, while pretending to be a librarian at work, I ran across a book that a lady wanted to renew but couldn't, because it was on a waiting list. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Reading the reviews on this, I realized I had to take what she says with a grain of salt: the author is also an attorney, Yale graduate, lives in Manhattan, has a nanny, housekeeper... in other words, likely enough money to buy a little happiness.

Still, this book has a few good, if not common sense gems: Make your bed! Clean out your closet! Organize crap! Be nice to your significant other! The author had an epiphany on a bus and wrote a book. I'll write in my blog.

Shit I want to do this year. [LIST]

In no particular order
(3/22/12)

• Write a novel.
• Record videos.
• Take more pictures.
• Drop some lbs.
• Swim with some manatees.
• Have more fun/be more positive.
• Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.
• Make more art.
• RELOCATE!

In no particular order
(1/3/11)

• The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
• Record videos.
• Take more pictures.
• Stop eating. LOSE WEIGHT.
• Have more fun/be more positive.
• Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.
• Work on my website.
• Make more art.
• Learn more songs on guitar! (1/6/11)

Will continue later.

Jobs I would rather have [LIST]

Butterfly farmer - 1/18/11
Autopsy assistant
Phlebotomist
Headphones tester
Graveyard Photographer - 3/22/12

With this blog...

I really have trouble blogging the mundane events of my so-called life. I could try to think of funny (or sad. Really really sad) stories that happen during my day, but everything would boil down to either how much I dislike my field of work, or how much I dislike the people I encounter working said field.

That said, I'm going to attempt to blog a little more frequently. I think I'd rather stick to the funny (I always say that I have to laugh, otherwise I'd cry) but we'll see how that goes. Maybe another iteration of my blog filled with the literary wrath of my fiery hatred awaits.

Otherwise I will stick to making lists of shit if that doesn't work out. :)

Joy likes cosmetics.

That is what Chris has been saying for the past week, all thoughout our glorious 3-day weekend, also while he ordered a Target giftcard with his rewards points from his bank card. Joy likes cosmetics. Joy can buy cosmetics with the giftcard. :-) This stems from me dragging Chris around the county trying to find a limited edition nail polish at a drug store that was never in stock. Also from numerous trips to Sephora, making the back of my hands look like glittery rainbows with color swatches, and asking "What about this one? This one? Which one's better?"

Anyway, I was looking at organization blogs (who doesn't?) and I found one that included a picture of a girl's makeup drawer and her lovely collection of Chanel products, which triggered a memory of dragging my mom around the state (Delaware - we had like, two malls, for serious) when I was younger, looking for a limited edition Chanel eye gloss that I needed, but was also never in stock. So really, I've been dragging people around looking for cosmetics for years! Story of my life!

I miss:

my parents. :-(

Not to get all gooshy or anything, but I love them! I moved away when I got to college, and now I still live really far away from them. I'm an only child and a military brat, so I essentially grew up with Bob and Abbey as my best friends. My parents were young enough to be hip, but old enough to know how to raise kid. Even as an "adult," my parents are way cooler than all my friends parents. I know people with really (really) crazy parents. I know people who don't even like their parents. I love mine and miss them and wouldn't trade them for any other parents in the world. Even rich ones that could buy me lots of useless crap. Yep, it's that serious.

"Crap" Restaurant Names [LIST]

• CRAPplebees


• CRAPspers (Crispers)


• aCRAPolis (Acropolis)


• CRAPabbas (Carrabbas)


• CRAP Outback


• CRAP (Moe's)

Sh!t I want to do before I DIE [LIST]:

• Go on a hot air balloon ride (8/4/11)
• Go skydiving
• Road trip the 48 contiguous states
• See the rainforest
• Go horseback riding
• See the Hawaiian volcanoes
• Learn to surf
• See the glaciers
• Visit Australia & New Zealand :-)
• See the Northern Lights (2/3/12)

More later!

10 Things You'd Probably Know About Me If You Paid Any Damn Attention At ALL:

1. I LOVE Jason Segel. I want to marry him and have his hilarious tall puppet babies.
2. I HATE talking on the phone. This may stem from working as a telemarketer and in a call center, but whatever. I'd rather communicate in person, via text, email, status message, video conference, smoke signals, sky writing, whatever.
3. I LOVE Harry Potter and I am pretty much going to bawl through this whole last movie. Pretty much.
4. I (secretly) am obsessed with Twilight and am embarrassed that it (might be) [is] (one of) my favorite movie(s). D-:
5. I'm an accidental librarian. I don't know how it happened, or if it will unhappen or whatnot. It is what it is.
6. I like pink shit. I tried to deny it for a really long time, but I like pink. It's my fave. There's nothing wrong with it.
7. When I was little, I really wanted to be blonde. My grandpa told a lot of blonde jokes, but it didn't help. As soon as I could stand the bleach, I took it to my head and went for it. I don't know if blondes have MORE fun, but they do have fun.
8. I love DIY home improvement stuff. If I had a lot of money, I would probably renovate my whole house and after enjoying it for a little while, move to a new house to renovate.
9. Sometimes I play dumb so I don't have to do shit in my free time like fix people's computers.
10. I share a birthday with Jesse Lacey, who I also LOVE.